


We All Have a Hunger

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different Powers, BAMF Wade Wilson, College Student Peter Parker, Identity Porn, M/M, POV Third Person, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:50:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wade Wilson might not be covered in scars in this universe, but his mutations force him to live off of human flesh, so I guess you win some and you lose some. Peter Parker barely knows how to handle knowing Wade, let alone loving him.They cope.





	1. Peter and Wade Have a Meet-Cute (And Discuss Cannibalism)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Hunger by Florence + the Machines
> 
> Warnings: Vague descriptions of violent assault, Wade bites someone

Wade was feeling hungry again, which he found insanely annoying considering the feast he’d had the night before- he'd put an end to a human trafficking ring without the use of a single weapon. Ever since his experience with Weapon X, he hadn’t really needed to use weapons, but sometimes they added a little spice and he thought it was fun. Last night, though, Wade didn’t think they deserved that type of flavor. All they got was his fangs, and not in a fun way, might he add! Wade sighed, grabbing his coat, phone, and keys, before calling out to Al that he was headed out for the night.

 

“Better come back smelling better than you did last night! That shit was rank, I can’t stand you.” She called back to him from the living room. 

 

“No promises, Jose Feliciano.” He quipped before he slammed the door behind him. He’d been saving that one since he googled “famous blind people” twenty minutes earlier. As he crossed the parking lot, he realized that he forgot to explain, and began, “Alright dear reader, it’s time you buckle up and prepare yourself for some lazily worked-in exposition, so please remain seated and keep all limbs inside the vehicle at all times.”

 

“Weapon X fucked me up good, but in this universe, I don’t look like an avocado, sexy as that version of me may be! Instead, my mutations can and will be described by excerpts from the Wikipedia page for Vampires from Buffy the Vampire Slayer; superhuman strength, speed, agility, reflexes, stamina, durability, heightened senses of smell, hearing, night vision, accelerated healing, sharp fangs, immunity from telepathy (that’s why this work is third-person!), immortality, blah, blah, blah. The biggest difference is that daylight doesn’t do squat to me, and neither will a wooden stake- I’m unfortunately immortal. Oh, my brain is super fucky too! That’s why I’m talking to you lovely people.” Wade explained as he strode down the sidewalk, pausing here and there to listen for the source of his oncoming meal. “And best part, I live off of human flesh. I’m like a funky mix of one of those bitches from Tokyo Ghoul and your classic vampire, but I only eat shitty people like racists and rapists. And yes, they taste like shit too.”

 

That was when he heard a telltale set of sounds he’d been awaiting- a trade-off of angry shouting and grunting only about a quarter of a mile from his current location. He took off in a sprint and made it to the dark alley in about thirty seconds, only to find a forty or so year old man beating on another man who couldn’t be more than twenty. Wade slowed his pace to that of a predator stalking its prey and upon closing in on him, he quickly inserted himself in between the man and the person he’d slowly been backing into the wall, grabbed him by the neck and twisted around so he could pin the man to the wall next to the victim. Holding him up by his neck using his left hand, he ignored the man’s shouts and turned to the man beside them. 

 

“Hey, you okay there?” The guy nodded back at Wade and he gave him a friendly smile before replying. “Alright, well, you should run, and I’ll deal with this guy here, okay?” He nodded again, before picking up a previously discarded backpack and sprinting away, clutching his side and limping only slightly. Wade noted the lack of visible injury as odd, but shrugged it off. He turned back to the man in his hand, who hadn’t stopped shouting and cursing throughout the exchange. “Gotta say, man, attacking random people in alleys is a bit cliche. Why not somewhere a bit more fun? Why not in an IHOP or something? Actually, no, that’d be pretty inconsiderate to the people who just wanna enjoy some pancakes. I wish I could still enjoy some pancakes man, what the fuck? Fuck this shit, dude, I want pancakes to taste like they used to. Ugh, anyways.” And with that Wade opened his mouth, revealing his fangs. That was when the man started screaming, but Wade just ignored it and took a bite out of his shoulder. Almost immediately, Wade felt himself being knocked off his feet and onto the ground. He looked up with wide eyes and saw the man get webbed to the wall, and upon looking down, noticed he was held to the ground with the same material. 

 

“Oh my god, Spider-Man!” Wade shrieked excitedly. And right then and there, the red and blue suited figure dropped down in between him and his meal. “Oh boy, you’re my hero! I love-”

 

“What the fuck, dude? You eat people? What?” Spider-Man interrupted him, quite rudely, if Wade was being honest. But that’s fine, ‘cause according to Wade, Spidey’s still pretty great in every other way, like his hero work, or his ass. “When I saw you save that uh, that kid, I thought you were gonna call the police. I gotta say, this is a first for me. God, what?”

 

“Uh, yeah, I  _ was  _ eating people until you popped in. Pretty rude, dude. Ha, that rhymed!” Wade giggled a little before pushing up against the webbing. It wasn’t too hard to break through, and as he stood himself back up, Spidey found himself frantically backing away like Wade would bite him next. “I only eat bad people, chill. At least when my moral compass is working- magnets get pretty confusing for me. I know you’re all anti-death and all that but I die a lot if I don’t eat so maybe I’m drawing the short straw in this whole deal.”

 

“Wha-” was all Spider-Man got out before realizing this wasn’t gonna start to make sense standing in an alley with a forty year old assault perpetrator screaming in their ears. “God, fuck, okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen- I’m gonna call the police-”

 

“I don’t like it already. Your plan, I mean.” Wade interrupted.

 

“Shut up. I’m gonna call the police and they’re gonna pick up the old white dude-”

 

“Which one of us?” Wade questioned. 

 

“Shut up! Him. Not you. They’re gonna pick him up and we’re gonna be not here because I can’t tell if you’re bullshitting me and you’re just a cannibal with a well thought out cover-story or if you actually need human flesh to live. God, what the fuck?” And so Spider-Man took the perp’s phone after a quick search and called the police, and then he shot some webs over Wade’s mouth before picking him up and swinging them over to a nearby roof. He placed the man down, ripped off the webbing, and backed away as quickly as he could before risking getting bit. 

“Again, I’ve got no interest in eating you. Well, not in an ingestion sort of way if you catch my drift.” Wade commented. “Like I said, I’m on a strict diet of Ne’er-Do-Wells and Human Garbage. Luckily for you, you fit none of the aforementioned requirements.” 

 

“And explain to me again why you’re on such a diet?” Spider-Man asked.

 

“I’m a mutate, and part of my deal is that the only things I can ingest without puking my guts out are water and human flesh. By the way, hi, I’m Wade, and your name is?”

 

“Fat chance there buddy, call me Spidey. That sucks. You don’t have to kill people for that, though. You don’t, do you?”

 

“Not if they don’t deserve it.” Wade answered. “Anyway, I don’t really have to answer to you, so if nothing’s gonna come out of this whole meeting, I’m just gonna…” and with that, Wade dropped himself over the edge of the building. Spider-Man blinked under his mask a few times before walking over to peer over the edge, but Wade was already gone. He sighed, reaching back to rub the back of his neck, but furrowed his brow when he felt a sheet of paper sticking out of the break in the fabric. He tugged it out and squinted to read the messy scrawl- 

 

_ Text me or something, I won’t bite ;-) _

_ (212)-601-2446 _

_ -Wade _

 

“What the fuck? When did he even have time to write that?” Spider-Man shook his head in exasperation before tucking the note into his boot and swinging off the roof-top. 

 

\---

 

It was about six weeks til Wade had anything really significant happen again. He and Al were at the laundromat together, and Wade was sitting on top of his machine and scrolling through his phone when a skinny young man with dark brown quaffed hair and a familiar backpack slung over his shoulders walked through the door. Wade tilted his head to the side, staring and wondering where he knew this guy from. It wasn’t til the man returned his stare and widened his eyes that Wade remembered- this was the kid he’d saved during the whole Spider-Man incident! Wade pushed himself off the washing machine and started walking towards the kid, who looked like he was debating fleeing. Ultimately he decided to stay, approaching either Wade or the vacant machine next to where he’d stopped, or possibly both.

 

“Fancy seeing you here- how are you doing?” Wade asked as he began unloading clothes from his backpack into the washer. 

 

“Fine. Better, good. I, uh, how are you?” He paused his action for a split second, looking up at Wade through his eyelashes. Wade was awful tall.

“Never been better. I’m Wade, and you are?” Wade smiled at him, and the shorter man gasped quietly when he noticed his fangs. “Aw, shucks, I don’t bite, don’t worry about those.” He chuckled as he said it.

 

“Oh, uh, okay. I’m, uh.” He seemed to hesitate for a moment before continuing. “I’m Peter. And you are? Wait, you already told me that. God, sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. God. How are you- no! Oh, god.” He closed the lid to the washing machine and rested his elbows on top of it, placing his face in his palms with a sigh. 

 

“Okay, wow. And people say  _ I’ve  _ got a mouth on me. Nice to meet you, Peter.” He chuckled and stuck out a hand to shake, and Peter returned the gesture with a surprisingly firm grip. 

 

“Sorry.” Peter laughed awkwardly. “Uh, if you don’t mind me asking, what happened? Uh, with that mean dude, I mean. The mugger.” 

 

“Police, don’t worry about it. What even happened that came to him hitting you like that?” Wade asked.

 

“I didn’t have any money on me, but he didn’t believe me what with the backpack and all. I’m kind of broke, though, I’ve had this backpack since I was fifteen. Anyways, yeah, I had nothing to give him and he didn’t buy it so he resorted to hitting me, and when I didn’t fight back or give him anything, he just kept going.” Peter cringed as he told the story like it was somehow embarrassing. 

 

“I see. I hate people like him, who prey on the innocent. I’m glad I stopped him before you were beat to death or something.” Wade replied. His machine beeped, signifying that it was done, and he gestured for Peter to follow him as he went to move the load into the dryer and get the next one going for Al.

 

“I wouldn’t say I’m innocent or anything like that, but I agree. I just realized I never thanked you, so like, thank you.” Peter said as they walked over. “Geeze, I don’t know how I’m gonna make that up to you.”

 

Wade furrowed his brow at him. “I mean, you’re welcome, but you don’t need to do anything. It was no big deal for me, and there’s no reason for you to make it one.” 

 

“Okay, so what if I find a way to repay you without it being anything huge?” Peter proposed. Wade pushed himself back up to sit on the machine again and seemed to be mulling the idea over in his head. 

 

“Alright, how about this; you let me take you out sometime this week, and we’ll call it even.” Wade said with a charming smile. Peter’s eyes widened- a date? With someone who lives off of human flesh? But he did agree to do something for Wade, and he supposed this wouldn’t be too bad. Wade did say he only eats bad people, and while that still isn’t exactly a thrilling concept in Peter’s mind, it is better than him murdering anybody he wants. Besides, Wade didn’t even say the word “date.” It could just be a friendly outing! Peter didn’t know! And so-

 

“Alright, that works. Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it.” Peter smiled and put out a hand, making a grabby motion for the phone. Wade smiled and pulled the phone from his pocket, handing it to Peter. Peter texted himself a laundry basket emoji and gave it back.

 

“You could say I work on my own schedule, so just let me know when you’re available and I’ll probably be free.” Wade told him, and Peter said okay. He sat himself down next to Wade and started on some homework, and they stayed like that until Wade and Al finished their laundry. Peter smiled when he said goodbye to them, and then he promptly freaked out because he gave his number and agreed to meet again with somebody who eats human flesh. Sometimes, Peter really wished he knew when to stop. 

  
  



	2. No Human Beings Were Harmed In the Making of These Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im gay  
> Warnings: Extremely vague mentions of an attempted rape (Peter sees Wade help a victim and deal with the offender)

Peter and Wade had been texting. They still hadn’t met again, and it’d been a little over two weeks since the laundromat incident. This was because Peter was still really confused about the morals behind Wade’s whole Purple People Eater thing, and he didn’t know where he stood on it. Of course he knew Wade didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, but his answer when asked about killing people was what freaked Peter out. What did he mean “not if they didn’t deserve it?” So he killed people if he thought they were bad enough? Who was Wade to judge that? But then again, who was Peter to judge Wade for that? Just because he disagrees with what Wade might do doesn’t mean they can’t be friends, or that Wade has to stop if they do become friends. But still… he killed people sometimes. Peter wanted to be sure he could get past that before letting the two of them get any closer. So... they’ve been texting. And that’s it.

 

The thing is, despite Peter not knowing Wade very well, and despite knowing he has and will continue to kill people, Peter still had a gnawing sort of urge to talk to Wade more. Their conversations in text (and in a few phone calls here and there) were easy, which said a lot to Peter when considering his terrible case of foot-in-mouth disease. They understood each others’ way too obscure references, they laughed at each others odd jokes, and both of them tended to ramble way too often, so neither would judge the other for doing just that. Simply put, they clicked, and Peter knew it. He hadn’t felt that way talking to anybody since Gwen, and as much as he hated to admit it, even they had had a few incompatibilities between them. Maybe it was only because he and Wade had met very recently, but as far as Peter could tell, they fit together so well that it was almost baffling. But still, Peter had yet to give into his urge to see Wade in person. He just wanted to be sure about what he was getting himself into.

 

The one thing Peter had yet to consider was the likelihood of them running into each other again while Spider-Man was on patrol. It was almost odd that they didn’t see each other more often- sure, New York was a big place with lots of crime, but they both seem to look out for the same sort of situation, especially during the night time. They hear a scream in the distance and take off immediately. What are the odds that they don’t hear the same scream here and there? Of course, because this was the one possibility that Peter hadn’t thought about, it was the one that actually ended up occurring. Peter was patrolling late because he’d had dinner with his good friend MJ, and he ended up staying at her house until about 1 AM. Just past 4 in the morning, when he was growing extremely tired and considering heading home, he heard a scream only around a block away from him. He sighed before swinging towards the source of the sound, but on his way, he saw a figure moving so quickly in its direction that he blinked a few times and had to wonder if it was even real. He picked up the pace with his swinging and watched as the figure slowed upon their arrival at the scene and stopped a clear attempted rape. They held the perpetrator down, allowing the victim to get out of the picture before they began to beat up the would-be rapist. Spider-Man landed on a fire escape just above the scene, squinting at the figure that he’d seen speeding by. The realization that it was Wade wasn’t too surprising, but he knew now what he was about to see if he stayed. He figured if anyone warranted Wade thinking they deserved death, rapists would most definitely be on that list. He debated putting a stop to what was going to happen, but in the end he knew it wasn’t his place to decide what Wade did or didn’t do. With a resolved sigh, Spider-Man simply turned and swung home, changing out of his suit quickly before falling into bed and letting his fatigue take over. However, despite the exhaustion he felt, Peter couldn’t sleep. He stubbornly laid in bed in silence trying to sleep for over an hour, but when he turned his head and saw that the clock read 5:30 AM, he scrubbed his face with his hands before pushing himself into a sitting position. He leaned over to grab his phone, and immediately it lit up with a text from Wade, asking if he was awake. Peter opened the text, contemplating his response, but after a moment he instead found himself pressing the call button. Wade answered the call immediately.

 

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” Wade greeted from the other end. Peter grinned and laid back, positioning his head just right in the dent in his pillow.

 

“The ozone layer. What’s up? Can’t sleep?” Peter questioned. 

 

“Nah, I was up pretty late doing, uh, work, so I just got home and took a shower. I figured I could either go to sleep,  _ or  _ I could see if you were available to talk, and one of those was a little more appealing than the other.” Wade explained, causing Peter’s smile to return. “How ‘bout you, Petey-Pie? What’s got you up at ass-o’clock in the morning?”

 

“I’m awake for pretty much the same reason as you, actually. When I realized what time it was, I just gave up on sleep completely. I can’t believe some people actually get up this early, Wade. They’re fucking crazy, I swear to god.” Peter shook his head to himself. “So, hey, would you like… actually, I don’t know. Nevermind.”

 

“What?” Wade asked.

 

“I don’t know, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to meet me somewhere for breakfast or something, but neither of us have slept and for all I know you could be one of those people who skips breakfast.” Peter mentally slapped himself. If Wade ate breakfast, it probably wasn’t going to consist of anything that Peter would be willing to indulge in. 

 

“Oh, fuck breakfast. Honestly, I totally assumed you’d be anti-breakfast along with me, so I’m sort of surprised.” Wade replied. “But! I  _ do  _ make a mean pancake if you’re hungry. I won’t eat, but I fucking love cooking, so…”

 

“I normally don’t eat breakfast, but I also normally am not up at 6 in the morning, so I figured today was the day to try new things. Are you serious, though? I’d feel kind of bad having you cook for me when it benefits you in, like, literally no way that I can think of.”

 

“I just said I love cooking, you ass clown. Plus, I’d get to see you. I’d invite you to eat at mine but I live with Al and our place constantly smells like old lady pants. If you wanted to text me your address, though…” Wade trailed off.

 

“Wade, are you sure? I just-” 

 

“Yes, I’m sure, text me, no take-backsies, TTYL XOX!” And with that, Wade hung up. Peter rolled his eyes even though he knew Wade couldn’t see before texting Wade.

 

_ Address is the geo-tag. Make one more Bella Thorne reference in my presence and you’re banned from the apartment, that shit’s on sight. See you soon _

 

Peter immediately jumped out of bed and hid all of his Spidey gear the most clever place he could think of (his closet, ha, gay joke), and sprinted to the bathroom to shower before Wade showed up. 30 seconds into his shower he realized that his place was an absolute mess and he began picking up the pace, considering he had no idea when Wade would show up. He could have sworn he had never cleaned himself or his home so quickly. Only after all the rushing did Peter think to check his phone, and he then found out that he had a solid 20 minutes before Wade would be arriving. He collapsed onto his couch to scroll through his phone while he waited, but he fell asleep almost immediately.

 

He woke up to the sound of his doorbell ringing, and he slapped himself a few times in an attempt to wake himself up before he answered the door. It must not have worked as well as he’d thought it would, because Wade greeted him with a teasing, “Well, somebody’s tired.” Peter rolled his eyes in response, despite the huge smile that came to his face at finally seeing Wade up close again. 

 

“And what are you gonna do about it?” Peter quipped as he moved to allow Wade to come in.

 

“Cook some pancakes, probably.” Wade said as he looked around Peter’s rather small place. “You really are a college student, huh.”

 

“Shut up.” Peter laughed and tugged on Wade’s coat sleeve, getting it off and tossing it over the back of the couch. “Kitchen’s over here, though you could probably see that since it’s really kind of the same room as this one. Did you wanna watch something?” He gestured towards the T.V..

 

“Oh, sure, you can just choose whatever you want and put it on.” Wade replied as he walked over to the kitchen, a small bag of ingredients in hand. 

 

“Alright, but I’m 100% tailoring my choice to your interests since you’re cooking for me.” 

 

“Sounds fair.” Wade replied. Peter smiled at him as he put The Golden Girls on Hulu. He recalled Wade mentioning it as one of his favorites during one of their previous conversations. “Geez, you remembered that? Aw, baby boy, you sure do know how to make a girl feel special.” Wade giggled through his response. Peter just grinned at him as he tossed the remote to the couch and walked over to join Wade in the kitchen. “So, how would you like me to teach you the art of the perfect pancake?”

 

“I’d definitely like that.” Peter answered him with a smile.

 

\---

 

Peter made his way to the couch with a plate of pancakes in hand after Wade had excused himself to the bathroom. The smell of the food made him realize just how hungry he really was, and by the time Wade came back, he was already halfway through the buttery stack.

 

“Damn, baby boy, you sure do move quick, don’t you?” Wade chuckled as he settled himself into the couch a few inches from Peter, not knowing how close would be too close for the younger man’s comfort. Peter grinned at Wade in reply and kept eating, and within a few minutes he had finished, right down to licking the syrup off his face.

 

“Those were fucking amazing, I really gotta hand it to ya’. Never tell her this if you meet her, but I should tell you your cooking could give my Aunt’s a run for its money.” Peter told Wade.

 

“Wow, we haven’t even gone on a date and you’re talking about me meeting the family. I feel like I’m being properly courted!” Wade exclaimed to a giggling Peter before turning his attention to the show that they had on. Peter smiled at Wade for a few more seconds before he turned and leaned his head against Wade’s shoulder, watching the show along with him. The background noise of The Golden Girls and Wade’s occasional commentary or laughter made Peter feel at peace, and it wasn’t long before he fell back asleep on Wade’s shoulder. When he woke up, he was laying flat on the couch, tucked into a blanket he didn’t remember owning and with a sticky note stuck to his forehead.

 

_ Had to go do some work, sorry for leaving! You drool in your sleep, it’s cute _

_ Rest well, hit me up any time if you want any more pancakes (or Mexican food, that’s my other specialty _ )

_ -Wade _

 

If Peter was smiling like a dope for the majority of his day, that wasn’t anybody's business but his (so stop asking, Betty from the Bugle).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thanks for reading ily all mwah + comments and kudos are much appreciated

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this concept is weird so i applaud you for clicking in the first place sskskdkkfkdkfjfk kudos/comments are appreciated, bye luvs


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